Where did these allergies come from?

Ah, spring. The time of year when things are growing and turning green making their first buds and...spewing forth the thickest layer of yellow pollen known to man. And it's coming from the trees? What the...? Hey. Whud jusd happened? I was breading a minud ago. Oh, for de lub ob all dat's hody!

That's right, folks. I now have allergies. I have to take medicine just to experience the pleasure of breathing. I was talking about the pollen to my family back in Michigan. They're all, "we have pollen here, too." I'm all, "bite me." I dare any of them to come down here in the spring and see how long they can breathe without the aid of pharmaceuticals. I just don't get how all this pollen is coming from trees. Pine trees. But then again, when you name a PINE tree, a tree covered in NEEDLES, the long leaf pine, I guess you should just expect that it's not going to be right.

How big of a litter box would I need in order to train my two 100 pound dogs to poop in a pan so that I don't have to keep opening my door and letting all that crap invade my house?

I guess stocks #2 and 3 will be with Puffs Plus tissues and Old English furniture polish.