Time Warp

Apparently, the humidity is so thick down here that it creates a fog from which nothing can escape. Or it can, but it takes longer and costs extra. Case in point:

I take a package to the post office. It's something I want to get to its recipient NOW. I fill out the forms for next day delivery and approach the clerk. After assuring her that there is nothing liquid, flammable, perishable, hazardous, live, dead, kinky, red with blue polka dots, or would you please stop asking me all these questions!, she takes my package, scans it into the computer, and charges me the fifteen-odd dollars for next day service. THEN she tells me it will be delivered by 3:00 p.m. TWO DAYS FROM NOW.

Ok. Hold on. Isn't next day delivery by 10:30 a.m. the NEXT MORNING? yes. And didn't I just pay for next day delivery? yes. And it's still going to take almost three days? well, two and a half, but yes. So how can you call it next day delivery if it's not delivered the next day? because it takes longer.

Because it takes longer. I'm so glad she explained that to me.